cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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