I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
