thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
She announced her abortion via fbk
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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