we made out on top of his cat.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
