i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
home. puking in laundry basket.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
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I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
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I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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