I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize