I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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