quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I could fuck to npr.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
