That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
