got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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