hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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