I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
