White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
