but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
