i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Randomize
