So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize