she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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