Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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