Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize