No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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