dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize