Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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