Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
