did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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