I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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