Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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