I want to make a zoo with you.
thus making me awesome and them whores
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
