I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
