I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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