Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
