We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
