Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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