why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
