she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
