Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
