your parents love me but you hate me
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
