i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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