Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
