You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
