Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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