Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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