I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
