Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
this just has baby written all over it
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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