we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
