she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
