i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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