I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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