i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
