I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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