well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
