I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
