Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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