I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
