Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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