thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
