hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We named our party play list daddy issues
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
