sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
