They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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