Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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